money money money money money... MONEY!
i am broke. in fact,i give new meaning to the word broke. i am, in fact shattered. by my calculations, i'm going to have to save at least ten thousand rand for my first month in japan, for rent and deposit and key money etc. there is no way i can save up that much, even without eating, and i need to eat. no really, i do.

so now i'm not really sleeping at night, and when i do, i have really bad dreams. i'm dizzy. my chest is tight. i feel depressed. this money thing is a pisser. in order to earn it, you have to have it. is it not bad enough that i have to pay off a student loan, a woollwoths account and some debit orders and a personal loan... do they expand personal loans?hmmmm.

i hate not having money. i HATE not having money. i never have money. i should be an artist, then i could justify struggling. i could make a virtue of it. but i don't like struggling.

oh boo hoo. such self-pity. i'm even annoying myself. i'm still bloody worried about money though. every damn day.