i just don't know what to do with myself.

okay, so it's almost the end of the month.

they told me when i had my interview (see archives under interview blues) that i would be hearing from them at the end of the month. so it's about that time, and i'm beginning to get that nervous, itchy, panicky feeling again.

i've never been very good at waiting. i don't deal with the unknown very well, i'm afraid, and in certain respects i prefer structure and ceratinty- i want to know what's going on, so i can make plans and lists and get organised. i feel much more confident that way, more in control. to me, anticipation is only fun if you know what it is you're anticipating. especially if the uncertainty you're dealing with is long-term. i mean, i first found out about the JET programme over a year ago. (check out atari avatar, my previous blog, if you don't believe me). i started the application process in october last year. i have been waiting to find out whether i'm actually going to Japan or not for a very LONG time, and i'm beginning to tire of the stress.

i just want to know, one way or the other, so i can get organised!

sigh.

i am such a type A personality.