Taking the slow train...

...Or, my journey to Kyoto and back.
***WARNING: VERY LONG POST!!!***

Over Christmas I didn't have the money to go home or travel abroad like everybody else... Which is, I suppose, a blessing as so many people I know ended up going to Thailand, and getting stuck in the middle of the worst natural disaster in decades.

So, I decided that the best plan would be to see some of the country I have been living in for the last few months. I mean, Hokkaido is wonderful, but the problem is that it is not truly representative of the rest of Japan. The island and the mainland (as they are referred to here) tend to be quite different. Hokkaido is not REALLY Japan, more of an adjunct to Japan. As Kajsa said yesterday, it could be Canada, albeit a part of Canada that has a lot of Japanese people. So I felt it was important to actually see more of mainland Japan than the three jetlagged days I spent in Tokyo during orientation.

So I decided to get a seishun-juhachi kippu ("youth 18 ticket") which is basically an open ticket that can be used on 5 different days and allows unlimited use of the local trains for only ichiman. Yup, you guessed it; I had contrived to travel the length of Japan on local trains. Of course, I still had to get to the mainland...


day1: December 24.

I woke up early, so that I could make the early train to obihiro... I still had to schlep up the hill to school to go and pay my rent... Yeah, Mr Kohi has been a little anal about it since the time I was sick and was 2 days late with the rent. Mr Kohi strikes me, generally, as being a little bit too tightly wound. I mean more than the general population. Anyway, I pad my rent and then traipsed down the hill past, like, a million students, all of whom looked rather confused that I was heading AWAY from school. Of course, I had to say "good morning" to ALL of them, which got a bit boring after the half-million mark. But it kind of put me in a good mood, so I toddled off over the slippery slidey snow towards the station.

At the station, I was waiting for the train to arrive when I was accosted by (and I don't use this term lightly) a weirdo. He must have been about 20's, short and squat, and dressed like a Bon Jovi reject. He was really happy to see me and expressed enthusiasm over my liking coffee, the colour green, and smiling. Over the course of the train ride to Obihiro (yes, he sat next to me), he played ringtones on his phone for me, wanted to talk about Eric Clapton and slide guitar, told me how much he likes ganja and generally babbled on about intensely disconnected subjects for half an hour. It was sweet, I suppose, that he made the effort and wanted to practice his English... But still, it was a bit much...

anyway, in Obihiro I rushed off to the ticket office and organised limited express tickets through Hakodate to Hachinohe (that is, down the bottom of Sapporo and under the sea to the top of the mainland. I learned a few things over the course of the six hours of that trip, namely:

• If you ask for a window seat you'll get it, even if the ticket seller knows absolutely no English!
• Little old ladies like to have conversations with you, even if neither of you are actually speaking much of the same language.
• Minami- Chitose station is possibly the most boring station to have to spend an entire hour in, and their toilets smell weird.
• Chilled cocoa is not the same as chocolate milk.
• Halfway through the trip the train changes direction, and seats on Japanese trains always go in the direction of travel... So everybody gets up and swivels their seats around. Without an announcement.

Anyway... I got to Hachinohe at around 6 pm, although it felt later than that because of the pitch-blackness that had duly plopped out of the sky at 4pm. It was at that point that it was time... To start catching local trains. I figured I could get as far as Sendai before last trains (at midnight). Okay. Time for a bit of background: I had prepared for this trip. I went to the Hyperdia website and figured out all the (local) trains I would need to take in order to get from Hachinohe to Kyoto, and then downloaded all of their timetables (probably about 25 in all), reduced them, and stuck them into a little travel booklet I made up specially. I then figured out (on the ride to Hachinohe) which trains to catch and when/how to connect. I had a plan. Which kind of skidded at the first turn. You see, the train I had to catch from Hachinohe to Morioka was a local train; it just wasn't a JR local train. So after much negotiation with the train station dude, I bought a nisenroppyaku-en (2600 yen) ticket and took the 19h11 train to Morioka (96 mins).

So, Morioka was at least a little more interesting than Hachinohe. Which was good as I had an hour to wait for the next train. So I got myself a cappuccino and went to the waiting room to sit out the wait. The waiting room was a little freaky to say the least. There were about 20 different TV screens on one wall, all with the sound turned down. I tried to watch "serendipity" but it was actually worse without dialogue. Why is it that people in romantic comedies are supposed to look desperate and slightly insane?

Anyway, I got a bit tired of that and wandered off in search of a toilet. I couldn't find one so I figured I’d go sit on the train. Good plan, because with 20 minutes till the departure time the train was already packed. I guess you could call it "last train japanic". People ended up squeezed in there so tightly sardines would have complained. Claustrophobia beckoned, so I turned my Ipod up loud, played "disco kandi" and tried not to breathe. Eventually the crowd thinned out a bit and I could sit down, but there was this extremely dodge old dude hanging from a strap in front of me with his hand in his pocket. Said hand was suspiciously active. I’m hoping he was just itchy. I tried hard to disassociate. Anyway, the train left Morioka at 21h57 and arrived at Ichinoseki at 23h25. I realised that I would not be getting to Sendai that evening. Unless I walked.

So, my options were:

• stay in the station until 5 am when the first trains started running, or
• Try and find a hotel.

Guess which one I chose. Listen, I’m a delicate flower of womanhood and roughing it in a station is above and beyond the call, really. So I found a cheapish (but nice) place by the station (the hotels are always by the station), and got some well-needed rest.

day2: December 25.

I got up and checked out of the hotel, and decided to take a walk around Ichinoseki. Let me tell you: this was not such a good idea. Ichinoseki falls into that category of towns known as armpits- a bit smelly and not much of interest. Oh, I lie, there was a Lawson’s... one of the last Lawson’s I’d see on the mainland actually (they're more into the am/pm's and Seikomarts there). I ended up buying a genki-drink and a nori roll and going to the station to eat and read my book. The locals seemed amazed at my willingness to eat the nori. Really I don't understand this. People, it was tuna in rice with seaweed wrapping. This is not that adventurous, it wasn't even wet seaweed, and it was the dry crispy salty kind. (Yum).

The train to Sendai left at 10h48. As I was boarding the train (early, so I could get a good seat) I noticed a very eccentric-looking older Japanese gentleman. He had a rather large trolley case with Russian airline stickers (well, I assume they were Russian as they were in Cyrillic). He plopped his bags on the seat and went off to the vending machines. I eyed his bags rather nervously as I was a bit worried that he might be a terrorist, leaving his bombs on random trains (all those japanicky warning stickers were taking their toll), but he came back just as the train was about to pull out.

Ichinoseki-sendai (10h48, 105 mins)
the train ride was a bit more boring than most... lots of fields and mechanics / scrap shops. Oh and some particularly annoying teenage boys that were giggling and play fighting. And attempting to look cool at the same time. Tiresome to say the least.

My day was a flurry of train rides and connections, stations, Mr. Donuts, coffee and a marked lack of real nutrition.

Sendai- Fukushima (13h04, 73 mins)
I kept seeing that eccentric guy. He was obviously going the same way that I was. I would have spoken to him except that he kept falling asleep. Definitely a nonconformist though, he took his shoes off and rested his feet on the opposite seat.

Fukushima- Kuroiso (15h04, 137 mins)
the Mr. Donut here is not self- service. I managed in Nihongo right up until the end when she asked me something about my coffee. I didn't understand and felt a right tool. I then discovered that pon de lion has many donut friends including a sheep: French wooler--- the French cruller. Oh the wittiness of the punnage. Too much coffee and sugar at this point but damned if I was eating any more ramen.

Kuroiso- utsonomiya (17h48, 49 mins)
the old guy had decided that I’m interesting. It turns out that he's a translator and speaks multiple languages including Romany, Russian, Spanish and Greek. He also insisted that I could take express trains with my kippu, as they never check tickets and all the trains come out the same exit. He was very helpful but the whole conversation was disconcerting: he kept insisting that he hated Japanese people. I wasn't sure how to respond. Also he kept talking about the secret police. There’s a secret police? There isn't even enough crime for the real police, really. Now, what they really need here are the fashion police. I swear if I had a dollar for every girl in "fuckme boots" and a pelmet miniskirt with no stockings, I’d be a millionaire. I mean it's not as if it's not the middle of winter and the average temp is below freezing.

But I digress.

Utsonomiya- ueno (18h40, 90 mins)
losing mind. Definitely losing mind.

Ueno-Tokyo (20h13, 8 mins)
ueno is the world's stupidest train station. It appears to have been designed by dwarves on acid.

tokyo-atami (21h03, 113 mins)
too many people! Tokyo station is just insane. I just wanted something to eat, and guess what? Ramen restaurants. Oh, yeah there was some nihon-riyori and sushi but vastly overpriced. I ended up getting a spicy hot dog from doutor coffee. What is a doutor anyway? And then on to the next train. my balance was starting to get a bit floopy at this point; I was feeling dizzy pretty much all the time and was amazingly tired, considering I’d spent the whole day sitting...,

day3: 27 December.
Atami-ogaki (01h24, 329 mins) **night train**
waiting in atami station was horrible. Absolutely horrible. It was cold, there was nowhere to sit, it was cold, all the vending machines were outside, and it was cold. Then I got on the incredibly overcrowded night train, where all the unreserved seats were smoking seats, and I realised what true suffering meant. I kept falling asleep and then jerking awake as my lungs shut down in protest. At the first available opportunity (i.e. one of the longer stops) I snuck into the reserved seating section and fell asleep. The conductor came past a few times but never asked for my ticket. I figure either he thought I looked like I belonged, or he'd already marked the seat as occupied, and the original occupant had gotten off. Whatever. It was a lot more comfy.

Ogaki-maibara (06h58, 36 mins)
the end was in sight. I was within spitting distance of Kyoto. I was also about to go insane and pummel JR staff to within an inch of their life. Amazingly, I managed not to commit homicide. Even though there were 800 annoying teenagers on the crowded train. On a Sunday morning. At 2 minutes to seven. Surely they should have been at home, sleeping?

Maibara-Kyoto (07h49, 55 mins)
I had now passed through the barrier of tiredness and was feeling genki, albeit in a rather surreal fashion. I ended up sitting next to a gaijin, who turned out to be a Californian called nick, who dragged me off to the tourist centre at Kyoto station, and showing me all the places I should go, and how to get there. This was extremely beneficial, as I probably would have wandered around like a lost fart, and would never even have found the tourist centre.

***** to be continued....*****

Part 2.

so, there i was in kyoto, armed with an all-day bus pass (500 en) and a bus map of kyoto, and about half an hours' sleep. i grabbed some vendo-coffee, and set off. i wandered around the narrow streets of kyoto, looking at dozens of shrines and pagodas and shrines and geishas and shrines. i got a bit shrined out, so i headed for the department stores, to see what i could not afford to buy. i saw the most DARLING black patent leather leCoq Sportif tote, but it was over a man, and while i might pay that for shoes, i'm not buying a bag that costs that much. you can get designer knockoffs for less than 2500 here. and i buy too may bags to commit to one expensive one.

well, by lunchtime i was pretty damn tired and hungry. and had bought a geisha. well, a geisha doll in full kimono and wig. so gorgeous and only 1500 (on sale, a bargain. shut up i'm not a shopaholic. anyway i checked with tharien and she says the doll is neither cheesy nor kitsch, so there). of course, finding a restaurant was esier said than done, and i ended up accedentally going in completely the wrong direction, and even wandering around gion for a while, until i found a bus that would take me back to the station.

i have to say a few words about kyoto station while i'm at it. the place is huge, which is hardly surprising, considering that it services local and express trains, shinkansens, buses and subways (and probably donkey carts and roboats too). htere is also a shopping mall called the cube, as well as information centres, a restaurant walk, and a small supermarket... not to mention a foreign food stores where i found and bought a liter tetra-brik pack of... PureJoy Guava juice! (of all things.) this was also the place that i discovered that hagen-dazs is apparently prejudiced against hokkaido, as there are about 5 flavours available in honshu that you can't get here (like vanilla fudge brownie ohmigod!), and the pint tubs come in more than just vanilla. this is truly a travesty of epic proportions. but i digress.

again.

in any case, kyoto station is supposed to be a triumph of architecture, and in a way it is. it's a triumph of architecture over style. a hodgepodge of glass, mezzanines, terraces, a flyway that is only accessible by multiple escalators, giant metal fans and ovoid shapes, and massive flights of stairs. it is also hopelessly user-unfriendly and it took me the better part of 2 hours to figure out how to get from the north side to the south side. i took some photos with my disposables and i'll try to get those out, so you can revel in the truly magnificent wankery of it all.

work is hell...

especially today, in my office. there are numerous reasons for this:

1. yesterday Ogitsu-sensei and i held a lesson that was a culmination of all our efforts for the past three weeks. yes, it was the amazing "fettucini with brocolli, garlic and anchovies" cookery! it went very well, and the pasta was very oishii, and i also managed to educate most of the class in the usage of ones fingers in the traditional "quotation mark" gesture (okay, so they are using it all the time and for EVERYTHING they say, but, still....), so overall i'd say a success... only... they used a LOT of garlic. so today i'm repeating strong, bitter garlic fumes. i shudder to think of the aroma that must surround me.
2. i have the cold from hell. my sinuses are stuffy, my nose is clogged and snotty and gluey, and i feel generally crap. oh, and my holiday syarts tomorrow. i thought garlic was supposed to help cure colds and flu. hmmm, maybe i overdosed?
   
3. the central heating in the office is cranked up to 11. so it literally feels like hell itself. or possibly hotter and more stuffy.i mean, there's no need for this: it just needs to be WARMER THAN OUTSIDE (not too bloody difficult)... which bastard decided that a blood-boiling would be the healthy alternative?
4. i have no classes today as today was meant to be a travelling day. so that means i have to look busy. i'd much rather be in bed, feeling sorry for myself.
5. i have been trying to research my travel route for the next few days, and have come to the conclusion that the internet is, actually, NOT ALL THAT HELPFUL.

well, i'm trying my damndest to entertain myself. i've been listening to The Grey Album by Dangermouse, which is a splicing of Jay-Z's Black Album and The Beatles' White Album. it's the album they couldn't kill. i'd give you a link to go get it, but i'm not here to promote laziness. google it like the rest of the world. i think it's on the illegal art website.

o lord i'm going to end up sleeping in a train station aren't i. *sigh* i can see it now....

some questions i answered...

1. WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES – at the moment all my plates and bowls are pastels- pink, blue yellow and green- on the outside, white on the inside.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING – Anil’s ghost by Michael Ondaatjie
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD – the one at home is a free one the SA ambassador gave me… it has a calendar on it and the SA embassy logo. Its crap though and it scratches me. At the office I don’t have one so my optical mouse jumps all over the place.
4. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BOARD GAME - Scrabble
6. FAVOURITE SMELL – new carpet
7. LEAST FAVOURITE SMELL – Dead, rotting flesh.
8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING – “five more minutes…”
9. FAVOURITE COLOUR – Hot pink
10. LEAST FAVOURITE COLOUR – governmental green
11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE – my phone doesn’t ring, it vibrates.
12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME – hmmm, have to wait till I meet the kid… something unpretentious and difficult to mock.
13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE – family, friends, and the ability to appreciate every moment, even the crap ones.
14. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA – chocolate.
15. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL – nope.
16. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY – wicked! And I’m living in a country with actual typhoons. Best viewed while wrapped up in a feather comforter, sipping hot cocoa and watching Korean horror DVD’s. no lightning tho…a bit sad.
17. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE - DEAD: Cleopatra ALIVE: Angelina Jolie
18. WHAT IS YOUR SIGN - Cancer
19. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI – on the rare occasions when I eat broccoli, yes….
20. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE - tonight, Michael, I will be a samurai...
21. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOUR HAIR, WHAT WOULD IT BE – hot pink.
22. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY - Half full. Of beer.
23. FAVOURITE MOVIE – LOTR (all three together)
24. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS – “right” is such an outmoded concept. Who’s to say what is right as long as I get the words out?
25. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED – two sliding cupboard doors, a handbag, some books, some dust bunnies, one bogeyman.
26. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER – I love all numbers equally.
27. FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH: synchronised swimming. I’m serious.
28. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR – death.
32. FAVOURITE CD – Keane- hopes and fears
33. FAVOURITE TV SHOW – 24.
34. KETCHUP OR MUSTARD – a mixture of both, slightly more mustard. Yum!
35. HAMBURGERS OR HOT-DOGS – burgers. They put eyes and brains in hotdogs you know..
36. FAVOURITE SOFT DRINK – fanta wild strawberry.
37. THE BEST PLACE YOU'VE EVER BEEN – Clifton on a sunny day eating melting smartie eggs.
39. BURGER KING or MCDONALD'S – BK all the way.
40. FAVOURITE SEASON – Autumn… especially here where the palette of oranges, reds, russets and golden-yellows is offset by the softer sunlight and the crisp, smoke-and-spice scented air.
41. FAVOURITE FOOD – sushi
42. VACATION IN THE MOUNTAINS OR BEACH – beach.
43. FAVOURITE SNACK – toasted cheese-and-avocado sandwiches.
44. KIND OF CAR YOU DRIVE – can’t drive.
45. KIND YOU'D LIKE 2 DRIVE – a retro muscle car- preferably a ’69 camaro, but a ’69 firebird would do too..

Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee.

So, I've had three cups of filter coffee and two glasses of coke, an d I think my caffeine intake is pretty much over the limit. I'm feeling jerky and stressed out, and my muscles are cramping. Most disturbingly, aside from my complete inability to type (Hello spell-check!) is my need for more. I'm jonesing on caffeine. I don't know how much longer I can resist. I foresee a sleepless night ahead. However, I'm not feeling any asthma symptoms at the moment, so the alternative healing website I read yesterday might well be correct. Of course, I wasn't feeling particularly asthmatic before the coffee... But you never know.

I'm watching a Korean horror DVD called Phone at the moment (English subtitles, Japanese audio). All part of my quest to learn Japanese. Actually I didn't realise it was Korean at first... But seeing as it has the Nihongo soundtrack, that is not a problem. I'm hoping that watching the movie along with the subtitle will help to learn more than my present regime of watching without any clue of what's going on.

Anyway so far so good.

Movies with creepy kids are always good, and this kid should get an Oscar for sheer creepiness. Also it's very atmospheric. lots of darkness and rain and stillness. Tension!

snicky snacky

i think it's just about time for a blog overhaul... i'm already tired of this design, and it's getting to be hard work to keep tweaking it into shape all the time. also it doesn't read at all well with mozilla and gets scrambled (you're not using mozilla firefox?) it'll be a bit difficult to try and get it sorted without any graphics programmes though, and my efforts to try and download anything of any use to me has met with limited (read: zero) success. that's the problem with the internet, everything is available but getting it requires either genius intellect, a huge credit card limit or absolutely no firewalls.

its kind of like being in a library where the librarians don't actually want you to take out the books, or are illiterate, or are evil. do you know how many times i have clickd on a search link only to be taken to another set of links or search engines. somedays are endless circles of links. i suppose i could spend my time writing emails but lately i don't seem to have anything to write about. or i can only think of things at completely innapropriate times (ie on the train). i know that having a laptop is supposed to negate this sort of problem but i an't get over the south african mentality that such lplaces (ie trains) are dangerous. and its actually quite uncomfortable trying to balance a laptop on your lap.

well, i do have quite a small lap.....

anyway.

i'm dumping the look soon, so don't be surprised if it looks a bit crappy for a while...