timewasting

timewasting
i don't want to go home.

there, i said it. tired as i may be, having made seven hundred and fifty million cappucinos, affogatos, choccochinos and other caffeinated warm foamy drinks, i am still here pying ten bloody rand so that i can languish in this internet cafe with the slightly strange guy working the front desk, writing when i feel mostly uninspired. i just don't want to go home.

the problem with having my nights free is that, well i'm single and i live with my grandmother. she's 76 (or thereabouts) and i'm 26. we're both cancerians (stubborn, illogical, sensitive) but three generations apart. and i'm kind of stuck here for now because i'm leaving the country, (one way or another) in four or five months.

don't get me wrong, i love my gran, she's a cool lady with a good sense of humour and generally she doesn't act like a little old lady. i just would not choose her for a roomate if she was my age. my case:

1) she is an obsessive compulsive neat freak. i am creatively messy (and perfectly comfortable with a little chaos) thus, exchanges take place such as the following...
i put down my supper plate, sitting back contentedly and patting my full stomach. it has been a long day and i am exhausted, but managed to relax a little by cooking myself a nice meal. my favourite television programme is on. 4.7 seconds pass. and then...
"are you going to wash your plate? i'm not going to was it for you."
"i know. i'll wash it after the programme. i only just finished!"
two seconds pass. she picks the plate up and says" i'm just taking it to the kitchen, but i'm NOT WASHING IT!"
"yes" i say, slightly aggrieved now, " i told you i'd wash it once i'm finished watching this programme i looked forward to watching the whole day"
"i know, you just relax"
a few seconds pass. splashing noises follow. she then walks back into the room, and states:
" i washed your plate."
"but i didm't ask you to. i TOLD you i'd wash it after this programme."
"i know, but i got tired of looking at it. i'm not washing the pots and pans though."
"that's fine, ill wash it after this programme that i have not as yet seen very much of."
"you always interrupt MY programmes"...
... and so on

2)she watches way too much sport. rugby. formula 1. cricket. tennis.
and then tells me about it.
i have asked her very nicey to refrain form doing so as i DO NOT CARE but she feels that this is just a ruse or perhaps me being silly and continues to inform me about the commentators' heights, the importance of left over unders (or somesuch), and how sweet that boy is who drives for maclaren.

3) she refuses to watch brilliant or compelling or critically lauded movies on thebasis of their name or genre! claiming, "that doesn't sound like something i'd like." however, if you force her, she usually does.

she didn't "get" american beauty though.

people tell me i'm lucky to live with my grandmother. one (who is a complete asshole as far as i can tell, but nonetheless.) told me that i should appreciate her wisdom and experience. well, she has really good common sense and she's very take- charge and good in an emergency or when you're sick or down. she's a cool gran to have. we get on pretty well.


i just don't want to go home.